Can we add one more fruit of the spirit?

Okay, so I've shared a post by Cassie before, and her latest one hit the nail right on the head.

I don't even need to say much, because her post says it all. To see her blog, click here.

So without further ado, 

Assertiveness and Self-Control: Fruits of the Spirit?

I only have 3 more days of teaching.

3.

Days. 

Holy cow. 

The past week was full of fun and friends and food. Monday we taught our wonderful students. On Tuesday, Shanleigh and Mallory came out for the afternoon and watched us teach the students and then the children. They also got to experience one of our frequent walks to the riverside with the students, as well as enjoy a traditional meal prepared  by Srey Nang. Wednesday and Thursday were pretty typical. Then on Friday, we joined the girls and Sharon on their trip to the countryside to feed the children in various villages. It was really neat to see what they get to do every other day. The kids were wonderful and beautiful and joyful. It was such a great day and we even got to climb a million stairs to a Wat and enjoy a breathtaking view of the countryside from atop a mountain. That night, Sarah, Mallory, Shanleigh, and I ventured out *got lost for an hour* and searched Phnom Penh for Mike's Burger House. We eventually found it and enjoyed a DELICIOUS burger as well as great conversation with Mike himself. He even gave us complementary nachos. And we got pictures with him. And we are now on his Facebook page. Love that guy. The girls spent the night at our hotel and we slept in, enjoyed a breakfast *fried rice and pork* at the top of our hotel, and then made our way to the hotel pool. Lucky for us, the one day that we wanted it to be hot and sunny, it was cloudy and windy and cool. But we made the most of it and enjoyed relaxing poolside. After "swimming" we headed to the Russian Market for a little more souvenir shopping and then enjoyed a nice lunch/dinner at a local *and favorite* coffee shop. The girls stayed with us again and we all attended church at Sokhom's in the morning. *Sharon, Dennis, Theary, their daughter-in-law, and grandson were also there* After church we met Natalie and Andrew for lunch at a wonderful middle eastern restaurant and enjoyed a meal of *too much* hummus and bread and wraps *gyros* and falafel. After lunch, Andrew said goodbye and we ran some errands. We stopped in a little shop and paid for a $1 manicure and then headed to the movie theater where Natalie had reserved tickets for us. This movie theater was a little different from the one in the mall. It was in a residential area. Actually it was in a house itself. You walked in the gate and then up the stairs. You removed your shoes and then walked through this hallway and into a lounge area. It reminded me a lot of Monks *coffee shop in Abilene* and I was immediately in love. We paid for our tickets *$3.50* and then made our way into the movie room where you could choose to sit in couches our recline on the cushions on the floor. We chose the floor and settled in to watch the movie. It was called "Unfinished Song (Song for Marion)" and I literally cried the whole time. It was one of the best movies that I've ever seen. You have to find it. It's like "Pitch Perfect" except it's a British film and it's with old people. It is amazing. *side note: there is some language* It may change your life. Maybe. Natalie drove us back to our hotel and we had a wonderful conversation about culture shock and fitting in and living in a different country. She is seriously one of my favorite people ever. SUCH an inspiration. 

So anyways. 

We've been a little busy lately trying to fit everything in before we leave. 

And I don't want it to sound like I've been goofing off this last week and don't even care about teaching anymore, because that is the furthest thing from the truth. We just found our groove and now it's life for us. Which I'm so grateful for. Our days are routine and I was telling you about the different non-routine things that we did last week. Okay. I'm done justifying myself. 

Moving on.

I've learned a lot of things in Cambodia. 

Maybe not learned entirely new things, but my knowledge about certain things has grown that's for sure. Here's a recent lesson. 

Assertiveness vs. Self-Control. 

I am not an assertive person. 

At all. 

But I like to lie to myself and say that I am. I like to think I'm confrontational and when asked what I want to do, I like to think I can easily answer. But I'm not confrontational and I hate telling people what I want. Why run the risk of making someone unhappy when you can just let them choose? This past year, I've been going to counseling to work on some anxiety/OCD/control issues as well as learning how to not be held captive by other people's expectations of me. *or the expectations I assume people have of me* It has totally rocked and I'm proud to be a success story. I can sign autographs later. Everyone should go to counseling. I'm serious. It rocks. 

Anyways, I've always had trouble standing up for myself and saying no... which can easily lead to my time, energy, money, etc. getting taken advantage of. Shocking right? Well I have found this idea of assertiveness to kind of be a theme here in Cambodia. You want a tuk tuk ride? Go get you a tuk tuk. He's asking for too much money? Try to pay the least amount. He won't go as low as you want him to? Go find another tuk tuk. The lady at the market is asking too much for the purse? Tell her you'll only pay $3. She won't go lower than $4? Walk away and find another bag at a different shop. 

After all, you are the paying customer.

This is all great and haggling is expected here, but this is not the environment that I particularly thrive in. The tuk tuk driver is asking for $5 and yes, it's a little steep and you could probably find a cheaper driver, but he has a family to feed and this is his job, so what's a couple of dollars? The lady is asking for $4 but you really only want to pay $3. But this is her job. She hardly makes any profit as it is. Will $1 really make a difference in your wallet? It's so easy to get caught up in the "limbo game" and it's fun to see how low you can go. *ha limbo, get it?* I have to admit, haggling can be fun and it's nice when you don't have to pay over $5 for anything. 

But are you being assertive?

Or are you taking advantage of someone?

Then there is a whole other side to the game. 

I'm automatically a target because I'm a foreigner. I get charged more at the markets, my tuk tuk drivers ask far too much, and I'm on every street-beggar's radar. The police tried to make me pay to enter Wat Phnom... guess what you don't have to pay to go to a city Pagoda. The police were trying to take advantage of me. I'm a foreigner and so I'm assumed to have more money. Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of money and I hate when people take advantage of me. 

So where is the line?

Where is this fine line between taking advantage of someone and getting taken advantage of. Because wherever that line is, I need to be walking on it. 

It's all about balance. 

But how do we find balance in a world that is full of corruption? Who do we listen to in order to find out what is right and what is wrong? How do I know how much is too much for a tuk tuk ride? When can I tell if a lady is asking for way more than what the purse is worth?

Marie-Clair taught her Bible study lesson over this very idea in Siem Reap the other week. She talked about right and wrong and how we know which is which and who teaches us the difference. Can you imagine asking a group of girls that hardly know Christianity and are living in unimaginably corrupt country this question? I live in a free country where everyone has equal opportunities. Yes, there are still people that get taken advantage of and there is still a lot of injustice. But it's nothing compared to here. Do you know how foreign equality sounds to me right now? 

I'm still learning how to be assertive while maintaining self-control. 

I'm still learning how to walk that tight rope between the two. 

The best solution comes from straight out of the Bible. *duh* In 1 Thessalonians, there is a verse that talks about loving and serving God wholeheartedly. Like with your ENTIRE heart. If you love and serve Him, with all that you have, there is no question that He will bless you with the wisdom and heart to serve others while still respecting yourself. 

Obviously, I'm still learning. 

It's just another observation I've made.

in other news.

It's hard to digest that we'll be leaving Cambodia in 9 days. 

It's kind of like camp. You're so pumped to be there and you make all of these amazing friends and you want to stay there forever. But then the end of the week comes and you shove everything back into your suitcase and hug all your friends and tell each other that you'll keep in touch and then you go home. And the whole way home you're depressed. But then you get home and you're mom washes all the mud out of your socks and she makes you bathe. You have a nice meal full of the fruits and veggies that you had been successfully avoiding all week. And you hug your parents and climb into your own bed, under your own covers and it's okay. Yeah. You're sad about leaving. But you're so happy to be home. And there's always the excitement for next summer and the chance that you'll see all your camp friends again. 

And that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. 

Anticipating the flood of emotion. 

Happy, sad, lonely, depressed, angry, excited, relieved, exhausted, overjoyed, and comfortable. And I'm not too entirely sure if I like the thought of feeling some of those emotions. 

But I know I will feel them all and probably many more. 

So I'm getting ready. 

Until then, here's to enjoying CampBodia for 9 more days. 

Love you all more than you know,

Cassie

I encourage you to visit her blog Called To Cambodia and read the different stories of how Cassie ans Sarah fell in love with an entire country!

"But you don't LOOK sick!"

Okay, before I start this post, let's get all the cliché "guilt trip" phrases out of the way.

Never judge a book by its cover.
Think before treating someone badly, it may be their last straw.
You can't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
No judgin', just lovin'. 

Alright.

Now.

This post is supposed to be guilt-trip free. So before you read, please put ALL of those thoughts out of your head. I know the feeling of listening to talks, lectures, going to bible classes, etc. and unfortunately leaving with the feeling of the "glass half empty" rather than half full. I'm going to be completely honest in this post, and some things might sound...well, a little harsh I guess is the only way to put it. So in no way is this post supposed to make you feel guilty, or bad, or depressed, but to hopefully help you understand better what some people are going through, and maybe how to deal with it. My parents are still learning, it's a daily struggle. We really honestly didn't realize how much it would affect our daily lives. Even after all this time, we're all still learning how to live with it.

"Invisible illness" is an umbrella term that captures a whole spectrum of hidden disabilities or challenges that are primarily neurological in nature. In other words, if someone has an invisible illness, they have a disorder that is not immediately apparent to others. It causes them to miss work, school, time with friends or family, and special or important events because they just can't get out of bed. It's not outward, such as a rash, or a skin disorder, or anorexia, or even a broken bone. At least when you break a bone, you have a cast, or a scar. It's something that most people are actually accused of faking. How can you prove it? It's invisible!

It's hard to understand. Whether you have it, or know someone who has it, it's hard to understand. And I really want to help you understand it better. If you've never had to deal with someone close to you dealing with a chronic illness, it might help you to better understand exactly what it is. You never know when someone might come into your life with an invisible illness (or maybe even a visible one!).

So in the past two years, I was diagnosed with two "invisible illnesses".  The first being Occipital Neuralgia, and the second Fibromyalgia. Occipital Neuralgia is chronic nerve pain in the upper neck, back of the head, and behind the eyes; while Fibromyalgia is chronic nerve pain spread throughout the entire body. Both can be really painful at times, but if you looked at me, you would never know (Unless of course it was a really bad day and I was crying and curled up in a ball...). Some days I have to suck it up and just go! (I'm still trying to get better at doing that, rather than just giving up for the day and sleeping).

I found a letter written to those who don't understand Fibromyalgia, and don't have it, and honestly it describes what I want to say perfectly. Fibromyalgia is one of those diseases that doctors either believe in or don't believe in. When I went to Scott & White in Temple, I was told, "Well, we aren't sure what exactly is wrong with you, so usually when it's that case we throw 'em in the Fibromyalgia category. That's just the "We're not sure" disease." ...Well that's comforting to hear! So whenever the Rheumatologist told me that I 100% had Fibromyalgia, I was a little skeptical. How was I supposed to believe her? The last person that told me that said it was just an "I don't know" disease. But she explained it to where I understood it a little better, and did so by saying a lot of what this letter actually says. I'm going to change their words a little bit, but I can't take credit for the letter itself. Please know that none of these are meant to sound harsh, but are meant to help you understand better what somebody with an invisible illness goes through everyday.

Please understand that just because I'm sick, it doesn't mean I'm not me. I might not always be fun to be around, especially when I'm not feeling at my best, but I'm stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, work, family, friends, and life, and I want more than anything to hear about yours.

Please understand the difference between "healthy" and "happy". When you have the flu or a sinus infection, you probably don't feel good, but it'll pass after a few days. This is something that I have and will have to live with forever, and I'm still learning how to. I really do try not to be miserable all the time! I try my hardest to put on a smile when I'm in public! But if I sound happy, it doesn't mean I'm well. Just that I'm happy. I could be feeling worse than ever.

Please understand that just because I can stand for five minutes, doesn't mean I can stand for an hour. It's likely that just that five minutes tired me out, and I'll have to sit down. Like an athlete who just ran a 100m. With a lot of other diseases you're either paralyzed or you can move, but with Fibromyalgia it just gets more confusing...

Please repeat the above paragraph, but substitute "stand" for walking or going out, and so on... it applies to everything. That's what a fatigue-based illness does to you. And please also understand that chronic illnesses are variable. It's possible that one day I'll be able to go jogging or swimming, or go out with friends, and then the next day I'll barely be able to leave my bed. And please don't say, "But you were just fine yesterday!" That was yesterday. Today is today. It's a 'day at a time' thing.

Please understand that I may have to cancel plans last minute. And alongside that, please understand that I may not be able to go to everything, or go out every night, and stay out late. 

Please understand that "going out and doing things" doesn't make me feel better, and will often actually make me feel worse. It may feel good to get out of my house and in a different setting, but physically it could exhaust me. Fibromyalgia can actually cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed if you were no longer able to participate in life?) but it is not caused by depression. And telling me that I need exercise doesn't really help... Trust me, I would be running every day if I could! My self-esteem has gone down a lot because of the weight gain from all the medicines, and because I can't exercise, I have really rough days.

Please understand that if I need to lay down or sit down or take medicine, that I need to do it right then. It's not something that can be sort of put off... Fibromyalgia does not forgive.

Please understand that I can't spend all my energy trying to get well. With a short term illness like a sinus infection or even a longer term illness like Mono, you can afford to put your life on hold in order to get well. But...the word "chronic" means ongoing. It isn't something that goes away. You have to come to reality and realize that you have to spend some of your energy on having a LIFE. I mean, it's not like I'm not trying to get better. It's not like I'm giving up (though at times I have felt like it). It's just how life with a chronic illness is. 


These are my own words:

Please understand that if I seem down or irritable, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. At times I just can't put on the happy face anymore. 

Please understand that just because I'm not doing as much, doesn't mean I have it easier. I may not have a steady job, and I may not do as much during the day, but that's because what I am doing is at my limit.

Please understand that when I say, "I'm tired", after I woke up sometime after noon, doesn't mean I was asleep the entire time. Most of the time during the night, I'm awake, and I probably have to go take a hot shower/bath to relax my legs and arms because they hurt so bad. I can't tell you how many 3:00AM showers I took my first semester.

Please understand that even I don't understand it completely yet. I'm still learning every day how to live with this.

And most importantly:

Please, please understand that I need YOU, yes, YOU, to understand me. Not this sad, sickly girl who doesn't feel good. No. I need you to understand the girl on the inside. Jenae. The girl who loves Photography, and drawing. The girl who loves to smile, and in turn make others smile. The girl who loves Arby's a little too much. The girl who is way too picky for her own good. The girl who has an unnatural love for the TV show Psych. The girl who can quote the entire first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The girl who is OCD and a germaphobe. The girl who actually likes doing chores, and cleaning. The girl who loves to sing. The girl who can be really shy but completely crazy. The girl who loves her family with all her heart. The girl who is addicted to Dr. Pepper. The girl who has had more cell phones in her lifetime than necessary because she keeps breaking them. The girl who loves her friends and would do anything for them! The girl who loves Jesus Christ and has faith that could move mountains. That girl. I may not always have that smile on the outside, but I promise you, I will always be all those things on the inside. No illness will take that away. 

I may have had a few rough patches, but I am and always will be Jenae Corryn Hardcastle. 

And that's ONLY because of my faith, my family, and my friends.


I know that...a lot of this is really depressing, and a little sad; but like I said, I just want to help people understand. I've never had to deal with something like a chronic illness. And nobody close to me has passed away. I've never had to deal with tragedy, or something heartbreaking. My great grandmother passed away when I was like six, but I barely remember it. So this is all new to me. I've had to deal with hospitals, and mean doctors, and severe depression, and so much more than I ever thought I would as a 17-19 year old. I feel like I've grown up faster than most teenagers. I really don't even feel like a teenager anymore...


But you know what's amazing? Technology. Specifically Boston Scientific.

Because of Boston Scientific, I can get out. I don't have to stay at home all day. I can go back to college. I can go see a movie at a theater. I don't have to go to the ER every 3 days. I don't have to be on numerous heavy narcotics. I can hang out with my friends more often. I can have a life. I thank God every day for the spinal cord stimulator, and that it was successful.

I may not understand why this is happening to me, but as a very wise woman named Lizzie Velasquez once said, "You have to stop asking why, and start saying 'thank you'." I need to start looking at my condition as a blessing, rather than a curse. To hear about Lizzie's story, click here. And believe me, you'll want some tissues.


I hope you leave this post with a new perspective and understanding of all the invisible illnesses. And please, please don't think I was trying to make you feel bad or guilty, because that's the last thing I want to do. I want so badly to help those around me understand better how to live with someone who has something like this. I felt so ill-prepared and like I said I still don't know how to live with it exactly. But if I can help others, that's what I want to do. I want to help others who are struggling with the same thing as much as I can. I may be young, but I'm passionate about helping others who are hurting. Especially hurting in a way where nobody can see it. Because I REALLY do know how they feel.

So yes, all those cliche sayings at the beginning could apply to somebody with an invisible illness. They may seem fine on the outside, but "happy" doesn't mean "healthy".

As for me, I am happy. And right now, I'm healthier than I was. I'm learning how to live with two chronic invisible illnesses, and so are my friends and family. It's not easy. It's actually really, really hard. And it takes a lot of patience. But with God, anything is possible. Even living with Fibromyalgia and Occipital Neuralgia as a 19 year old. And passing all my classes at the same time. Now that is a miracle! Haha!

The thinkin' behind the inkin'

Okay, I realize the title is a bit cheesy, and well, lame. But how many catchy titles can you come up with about tattoos?

Well, I guess you now know what this post is about. Ding ding ding! I got my second tattoo! And I want to tell you why. 

A lot of people nowadays look down on tattoos. They think they look trashy, or bad, or tacky. I will admit, some do! But when you get a tattoo that really means something, you can use it as a ministry and as a testimony to share your story with other people! 

And that's exactly what I want to do with mine. 

As most of you know, my first tattoo is on my left wrist, and it says, "1 Corinthians 1:8", which is, "He will keep you strong till the end, so that you may be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ." I got this tattoo last September as a constant reminder that God will always be there to give me strength, and He WILL keep me strong until my battle with my health is over! And He has! I may have had a rough patch January-April this past year, but honestly my tattoo is what kept me going (along with a lot of other things). Every time I would be getting an IV, the nurse would see it and ask what the verse said and it would start a whole conversation about the strength coming from Christ and my battle with the unknown. It was such an encouragement to able to share my story with someone else, and in turn they would remember me because of the connection we made from the deep conversations we would have about God and our faith (Not every nurse would go into a deep conversation with me, but I did have some amazing nurses who were huge blessings in my life and made a big impact on me).

So here's how the whole second tattoo idea started: My mom wasn't so into the idea of me getting another one, but she did like this one (Hehe, thankfully). We were up at the dorm back in January packing all my stuff up to move back home (it was when I had to withdraw this past Spring semester), when all the sudden I just burst into tears. 

Why was this happening to me? 

I don't feel strong. I feel weak!

Where is God right now?!! I need him!

I feel so alone, in every aspect of my life.

How am I supposed to go on with my life? 

I can't do this anymore. I just can't. 

But then I saw the coffee cup that my friend Alyssa made for me for Christmas. She stalked my Pinterest and saw that I loved the phrase "It is well with my soul." You might recognize it from the old church hymn. (It just so happens to be my favorite, along with How Great Thou Art). As I was choking back tears, I looked at the cup and read the words. 

"It is well with my soul."

But, it wasn't well with my soul. It wasn't well with any part of me, and at that point I wasn't sure if it ever would be. I looked at my tattoo, and back at the cup, and thats when I had an idea. 

"Mom," I said, "When this is all over, and I mean like really over, I want to get a tattoo that says 'it is well with my soul'. Because I want the reminder that God worked a miracle and saved my life, and by then it really and truly will be well with my soul." She loved it. 

So I thought about it and thought about it for months and changed my mind a dozen times on what I wanted (I mean if I'm gonna have it forever I need to make sure I'm gonna love it). But it wasn't just about the design. I wasn't going to get it until I felt at complete peace on the inside, AND until after my final surgery. My surgery was in May, and of course I had to recover, but it still wasn't the right time. I still hadn't come to terms with my lot in life. It took some serious prayer and a slap in the face to realize that my battle with Fibromyalgia, Occipital Neuralgia, and my health in general will never be "over". This will be something that I will have to learn to live with, and when I finally came to terms with this reality, I finally felt at peace. Sure, my random often trips to the ER may be over (hallelujah!!). My major surgeries and procedures may be over (hopefully for now). But I still have a lot of growing up and getting back out into the world that I have to do. And I still have at least 2-3 doctors' appointments a month. But -- all I know...is I'm at peace with it all. 

So here comes the fun part. 

We called and set up my appointment with Nicolle at Ink Image (She's actually a good friend of ours, her boyfriend is one of my dad's good friends and motorcycle buddies). She did my first tattoo, and I recommend her and ONLY her to everyone who wants to get a tattoo. First off she has the cleanest shop I've ever seen and she is so sanitary, which is important! But the most important part is she is one of THE MOST Godly women I know. She doesn't allow swearing or cursing while in her shop, and you cannot use God's name in vain. She always has Christian music playing and she's always so positive, which makes it go by so faster and it just makes it so much easier. And trust me, you want it to go by fast. Because when you get one on tender skin, it hurrrrrrtts!!! She's an amazing woman of God! (I may or may not be a little biased...)  

Okay, here is a picture of it, and then I'll explain what it means:

(Btw it's on my right forearm)

I've always had a thing for anchors. Especially the past two years. The anchor represents God, my family, and my friends, who stayed by my side through this whole thing and kept me "anchored" in the midst of this crazy "storm" called my life. I picked this anchor specifically for the heart because of God's unconditional love and because of the love that my parents have for me and the love I have for them. My parents and I have really gotten closer over the past year and a half especially, spending so much time in the ER or in the hospital together, and I couldn't ask for two more amazing people. I feel so incredibly blessed to have been born into this family! 

Now, at first I was going to get "it is well", and I know you may be thinking it's a bit odd that I got "with my soul". But here's my explanation: When I look at it, I can't just say, "with my soul", and it make sense. By getting "with my soul", it forces me to say "it is well" in my head before finishing the sentence. And it reminds me that it really is well with my soul. By having this in such an open place, and having it a pretty decent size (3in), people will ask about it and I can share my story with them (obviously the Reader's Digest version!). It's my testimony. It's my own personal way of sharing my experiences and how strong I've come out on the other side! I want to help others who are struggling, whether it be from Fibromyalgia, or just migraines, or maybe even stress, I just want them to know they're not alone! Not only is God there, but I am too. 

And... Now here's my shpeal about tattoos: They really honestly shouldn't be looked down upon. Like I said earlier, a lot of people when they see tattoos they immediately make a judgement and think its trashy, tacky, too big, a mistake, etc. And then some people try to pull the Bible card.. Well, then we shouldn't wear our hair in braids, or eat pork. We are a New Testament church. I feel like nowadays when people go to get a tattoo, they aren't getting it "just to get it". They get something that is significant, or sentimental. It has a purpose. It means something. If you're going to sit through that amount of pain, don't you want it to actually mean something? Exactly! Can we change the view on tattoos and make it positive? I want people to ask about mine. That's the whole point! 

How can I share my story if there's no way to get people's attention? 

While I was getting mine done, Nicolle shared this story with us, and it just proves the point about not judging a book by its cover. 

So Nicolle and Dan (her boyfriend) were at lunch, when a young woman approached their table. (Nicolle and Dan both are covered in tattoos, and I think they were wearing Harley Davidson shirts that day if I remember correctly). The young woman starts talking to Nicolle, telling her that she's a counselor and that she counsels kids with a bunch of tattoos and everything. Nicolle tells us that she immediately thought, "Oh great... She's going to go off on us and tell us how bad tattoos are and all that, etc etc.. Man.." And while she was telling this, my dad and I were thinking the same thing, like, "How can this lady just come up and judge them so harshly when she doesn't even know her?!" But then what came out of the lady's mouth surprised Nicolle and Dan both! The lady said, "I counsel kids with a bunch of tattoos and they just speak so highly of you! They tell me what a lovely Christian lady you are and how positive you always are and I just wanted to say thank you for what you do! You do amazing work!" ...Yeah I didn't expect that either! (And how that lady knew who Nicolle was is still a mystery to all of us...). 

What Nicolle does is her ministry. She changes people's lives, and she doesn't even realize it! Just by what she plays in her store and how she treats people, people speak nothing but positive words about her. She stands up for what she believes in, no matter who comes in or what happens. She'll stand firm on her faith as long as she has to! 

Here's the hard part... I know that I'll find some people along the way who look down on tattoos, and you know what?Thats okay!! I mean, I don't really like facial hair... So....haha! I've already had a ton of people ask what my tattoo means, and after I tell them they just give me a hug and tell me they love it and are praying for me. So, yeah, tattoos can be trashy. They can also be tacky. They can also be horribly hideous and disgusting. But they can also be classy. They can be a testimony. They can be a daily reminder! 

So the lesson here: you should never judge a book by its cover until you've heard what's inside, especially with tattoos; at first you only see what's skin deep. 

Peace and love, 

Jenae